Humans.

“A man has a false heart in his mouth for the world to see, another in his breast to show to his special friends and his family, and the real one, the true one, the secret one, which is never known to anyone except to himself alone” 

 

People are so complex. Some are built like walls while others are like open books.

It’s interesting how alike people will butt heads with each other while opposite personalities will attract one another. Yet later on, what you admired about their differences will start to poke at you. Why is that? Once what you admired about the other person is now irritating?

How weird. Oh, so I have thought.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this but…

What makes me “like” someone? How do these “feelings” come about? and why do I always feel it in my heart?

The human heart consists of fat, muscle and blood and only works because electrical impulses are continuously causing it to beat.

So where do “feelings” come from? Why can I not emotionally switch off? and if I do, why am I considerate inhumane?

It’s 1:15 am. I should really be asleep. Yet my body is exhausted while my brain is completely wired. I’m having this conversation with myself which is what I happen to be typing.

//

I want to talk to you. Yet every time we talk it’s icy and I can feel the tension rising … only for it to reach it’s limit and burst into an argument. However, I waved my white flag and cut our conversation short. I don’t want to “do this again”.

So do I just pretend to not care by switching off and sleeping?

This isn’t me. I’m the most emotionally expressive person you’ll meet. I can’t “bottle” my feelings. My facial expressions and body language will instantly give away what I’m feeling. I just can’t seem to get rid of that trait of mine. (Facial expressions for days).

Ergh. Just Ergh.

I don’t like feeling like this.

Sometimes I want to take out my heart and dump it somewhere and run away from it, only to find when I stop and turn it’s there like I never ran away from it.

 

 

 

 

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